Do Men Still Objectify Women? Don’t Call Me Babe

“You’ve come a long way, baby…” the television ad would say. Back in the 70’s, women were told we could have it all, do it all, be it all. We were told that we could climb the corporate ladder, be a mother, have a successful marriage and earn dollar for dollar as much as a man could. We now had “women’s rights.”

Along with those rights came the Pill. Sexual freedom. Now we could have sex without as much fear of pregnancy. Indeed, we were equal to men. Right? Or did we just make it easier for them to get laid without putting out any effort?

Along with those rights, we learned phrases like “Male Chauvinist Pig” and set out to educate men that they could no longer objectify us as women. Singer Helen Reddy belted out “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar.”

We stopped letting men open our doors, pay for our drinks and dinner and insisted we could bring home the bacon AND fry it up in the pan. Along with being “equal” we insisted that men look at us NOT as women…but as equals. But are we equals, really? And how equal do we want to be? Personally, I am not interested in being one of the boys. I like being a female. I like being feminine. I like when a man is a real man.

Biologically, we are not the same as men. Men are still snipes and snails and puppy dog’s tails, trucks, guns and testosterone, and women are still sugar, spice, everything nice, lip liner and lunch with the girls. Thank God we are not the same. I believe in women’s rights and I also believe women have a right to be treated with basic human consideration and respect. Men deserve respect too, but personally I can’t respect a man who does not respect me. Is it any wonder why so many women complain to me and each other they don’t feel respected by men?

How far have we really come since the ’70’s? Let’s see….

Women still earn less than a man doing the same amount of work. We now work outside the home, come home exhausted and work inside the home taking care of kids and hubby. If a husband and wife divorce, her lifestyle decreases by 45% and his increases by 15%.

The men of the “future”, i.e. TODAY were supposed to be caring guys who were products of “an enlightened era” sensitized to our plight as women. Men who, although no longer opened our doors, paid our way, respected us as women, revered us as mothers and wives and girlfriends were still expected to NOT OBJECTIFY AND DISRESPECT US.

Well, guess what? Many of the men who are supposed to be products of the moms and dads of the 70’s…the so called “enlightened men” are still objectifying women.

I wish I had a dollar for every time I get a text or an email from a guy I do not know and have never met who calls me “babe.”

Following is a small example of the kinds of emails I get from total strangers:

“Hey, babe. Hit me up and let’s talk.” “Hey, sexy. Wanna talk, babe?” “Hey, babe. Let me know if you want to hook up. OK, babe?”

Hello? I have a name. And it is NOT BABE. I loved the movie but I am not a talking pig, or a famous baseball player or a multi sports female phenomenon (although I used to play some decent football and basketball).I don’t know you. We have not met. Please don’t think you can be THAT familiar with me. Let me say this to all the guys who call me “Babe”… “Hey, babe. When you can email me and have something to say that is a better ice breaker than ‘want to hook up with me and see what happens?’ then let me know. If you are so spoiled, lazy or too cheap to spring for a cup of coffee or have so few social skills that you think I am going to fall all over myself getting back to you based on your one sentence courtship of me, you have another thing coming. If you think ‘want to chat?’ is your best A game, move on.

I am not playing in that game with you. I am NOT low hanging fruit. I am a confident woman with a lot to give someone, and I don’t just mean sexually. I am not an aging, desperate, stupid, gullible woman who mistakes objectification with respectful and genuine interest. I have been around enough to know when I am being disrespected. I am not desperate for sex, but I BET YOU ARE and that is why you are sending out 60 emails at a time to women hoping that playing the numbers game will pay off. I am not a set of tits. I am not a pair of legs. I am not YOUR hot babe.

I am a mature, well read, well educated, self respecting woman with high self esteem and high self regard who isn’t going to spend an ounce of my effort on ANY man who objectifies and talks to me like I am a ho for free. I have helped people die and been in the room when they passed on. I have been through hurricanes. I have perspective in life you won’t get for another 20-30 years IF THAT. I will not allow anyone to trivialize my existence by calling me ‘Babe’ and texting me a booty call when you and I have never even spoken on the phone, met face to face, or broken bread together…Let me repeat this so I am clear: I am not low hanging fruit for you to walk by, scoop up off the ground, use and discard.”

So, do men still objectify women? From what I am reading on the Internet in recent studies, yes. (April 1, 2009 — Researchers in psychology at Stanford and Princeton universities have found that semi-nude images of women can cause men to view them as objects. A lead researcher in the project said, “What the brain scans show is that they are reacting to this photograph as people react to objects. It is as if they are not fully human.”

Why does this continue in 2009 with nearly 40 years of “equality” between men and women? Well, one reason is because women allow it. We let men get away with it. Maybe we don’t value ourselves, so why should we expect a man to value us? Maybe we overlook this familiar term because it’s not worth getting upset over. And maybe after the 1,000th time of hearing it, we get to a breaking point and finally decide to draw a line, because it signals the beginning of a downhill slide with a man. One reason is because with porn so readily available on the Internet, men look at 2 dimensional representations of women and sexualize what they see. They transfer this sexualization onto real 3 dimensional women and treat them accordingly. One reason is because while their moms were out climbing the corporate ladder, there was no one at home TEACHING these young boys how to respect women. One reason is due to divorce, dad no longer lives at home and maybe dad berates mom in front of the male child(ren).

If you think just cause you are young and hot and that’s enough, God bless you. If you don’t change that thinking, then you will grow into the very older man that we women are sick of meeting and dating.

Source by Dr. Fayr Barkley, Ph.D.

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